Bitterly disappointed

It’s funny how a year later, there are still the occasional, fleeting moments where I fall back into my old routine.

I get on the computer, and for just a second, it’s as if I’m almost expecting to talk to you, but then a second later it’s gone - I realise that old routine is long gone; and that it was infact a damaging and draining routine.

I just find it strange, thats all - How one can become so accustomed to a routine activity, they find it resurfacing at the most odd times.

In all honesty, you’re a fucking manipulative, pathetic, hypocritical dickhead. Fuck you, and all those lies you told me. I know more than you could possibly realise, I’ve seen the things you said and lied to me about. Just, ah, fuck you. And fuck me, for being so naive and stupid.

It sounds pathetic, how it still bothers me to this day - but I think I’m pissed off at myself more than I admit, and how genuinely stupid I was. What the hell was I thinking? Why didn’t I voice my opinion? How did I allow myself to just become one of many girls in your long list?

..Why did everything actually mean something to me? Why did you? 

There comes a point in your life, when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly, you’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

- Greys Anatomy